Last week we started working on balancing out our inner well being by wiping out the ants. This week I want to continue working on this area by challenging our thoughts and asking ourselves, are they true?
Often, we let ourselves be unhappy, because we allow negative thoughts into our minds, based on false information.
For me, this happened about four years ago. I read a conversation between two individuals that kept acting one way when I was present and another way behind my back. What I read was them telling each other how much they hated me. Not only them, but they were also telling each other that “everyone” hated me. No matter who they talked too, that person would say to them how much they hated me.
As you can imagine, this was a horrible thing to read. The thought that everyone hated me hurt me deeply. I’ve always been an introvert and worried if others liked me. Their words did not help. Instead, It made me scared to go out in public.
False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.” – Plato
After months of this affecting me, I decided I couldn’t live this way. I asked myself what thoughts I had were true? These two individuals hate me. They both said they did, so that must be true. Does everyone hate me? The answer was no. These two can’t possibly know how 7 billion people in the world think about me. Therefore, it’s a lie that “everyone” hates me.
Further, I don’t know if it’s true that anyone they had a conversation with said they hate me. I wasn’t part of those conversations. Perhaps their influence and their hate for me made others tell them this. I have no idea. I had to let that thought go because I couldn’t be for sure. Further, I know I have people that love me. I surround myself with them all the time.
Their words were only opinions, not the truth. I had allowed their opinions to make me unhappy.
Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance.” – Plato
When I let go of the false belief that “everyone” hated me, I started to be myself again. I was happier about going out in public and being around others.
When we challenge thoughts that make us unhappy, we find that most are untrue. We can all be happier if we only let go of false beliefs.
Your mindfulness challenge for this week is to ask yourself, are my thoughts true?
I have created a worksheet for you that you can print our download here.
Sit in a quiet spot.
Write down a negative thought that you are experiencing right now.
Ask yourself, is this thought real? Do I have any evidence that supports this thought?
If you are a person that believes things based on your emotions, take a moment to explore your mind and gut. What are these things telling you? Ask yourself questions, like: Was I present when this happened? Did I see or hear it with my own eyes and ears? Am I using common sense or my feelings?
When we walk outside, we see the sun. We know there is a sun because we see it every day it’s out. That is true. Think about this as you ask yourself these questions and search for the truth. If we don’t experience it ourselves, then we have no idea if it’s true.
Once you have challenged your thought, write down your answer.
Now ask yourself: Would I be happier if I let go of this thought?
Think about how your life will be if you no longer have this thought, then write down how you see your world.
Finally, if we take that thought and turn it into positive thinking, what would that be?
For example, if the thought was “My boss, thinks I’m an idiot.” turn it into a positive affirmation that you can tell yourself often. Like, “I’m so smart, and those around me think so too.”
Practice repeating positive affirmations until you’ve let go of the untrue thought.
Repeat these steps until you’ve challenged each untrue thought you have.
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When I went through the situation that I described above, I came across a book by Byron Katie called Loving What Is, Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.
It’s been several years since I read it, but this challenge comes from her philosophy. She delves deeper into challenging our thoughts by asking a series of questions. If you are a person that has many negative beliefs and would like to further work on those, I highly suggest you read her book.
Other articles you missed this week:
How to be Mindful During the Political Season
Mindful Aging; 50 Ideas to Celebrate Being Fifty
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