My guy and I show our love for one another by constant affection. The couples we spend time with are affectionate with each other as well. This is how we genuinely feel about each other, so we show it and love to see others show it. We’ve had strangers tell us they hope for a love like ours someday, and others have told us that watching us made them smile.
Then it happened a few weeks ago we were in a local store. I was curled up under my guy’s arm as he was kissing the top of my head. A woman sees us and yells out, “Get a hotel room,” as she shook her head in disgust at us. We quickly realized she was not a fan of our love.
Everyone sees the world differently, and you will never make everyone happy. If we had apologized to her and stop showing affection, we wouldn’t be doing what feels right to us. Instead, we let her judgments about us go and continued doing our thing.
We carried on with our day running errands, and that’s when I started paying attention to how others show affection. What I saw astonished me. Very few people showed affection to each other. I didn’t see smiles, laughing, or genuineness. No one seemed to be having fun or living in the moment. It was no wonder we’d been judged; we were not the normal of what seems to be happening in the world right now.
I like to think that everyone loves someone. Also, I hope that everyone wants to be happy and affectionate with those they love. Being mindful of those we love is essential to having a deep healthy connection. So why don’t we show it?
I want to know you moved and breathed in the same world with me.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
This week’s Mindfulness challenge is to fall into love.
I want you to pick something you can do with your love or a person you want to fall in love with. Even better, pick something they would love to do. If you need ideas, check out this week’s Fall list, and don’t forget to print out your worksheet.
Before your adventure begins, I want you to think about why you have been unable to show affection or love to others in public. Think about what has stopped you from doing this before.
Worried about other people? If it is, ask yourself why you care more about what others think than yourself or the person you love?
Is this something you were raised to believe? Question your beliefs to see if they feel true for you now. I hate to call the guys out on this one, but I’ve been told (by men) that showing affection is not a “manly” thing to do. This is not true. Seeing a man who loves his women and is not afraid to show it in front of other men is the sexiest thing a guy can do. So stop worrying about those other men who might give you a hard time and set an example of what men should act like (I think 99% of all women will agree with this).
As you spend this time with the one you love, stay present. What do you notice about them? Think about your favorite things they say and do. Look into their eyes and smile. Praise them and give them your undivided attention. Grab their hand, kiss their cheek, hug them. Be respectful but be affectionate. Tell everyone you pass that this is the person you love. Marvel at how lucky you are to have this person love you.
Acknowledge any thoughts or feelings that happen when you are showing them affection. Ask yourself, what does the person you love need from you at this moment? Do you accept them exactly as they are?
If you get any feelings of fear, that’s perfectly normal. That means you are growing, and that’s a good thing.
Allow life and love to unfold at the moment around you. And if some lady yells, “Get a hotel room,” Laugh and let it go….
On your way home from your day, please talk about the experience and how it felt to show each other affection.
Write down your thoughts about the days’ events. How did your love receive your affection?
Hopefully, this will lead to more and lasting affectionate in your relationship.
If you have not already signed up for our weekly mindfulness challenge but would like to, please do so here. I would love you to be a part of this mindful tribe!
Peace & Love,
Ela
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