Growing up, I was not allowed to call any adult by their first name. Also, I had to use my manners at all times and show my elders respect. It would be safe to say that respect was my father’s primary core value. He gave it to others and expected it in return.
When we possess a virtue of respect for others, we learn that we deserve respect as well. Self-respect is something that each of us is worthy of and is essential to maintain our dignity.
So how do you know if you respect yourself?
Those with low self-respect often allow the following:
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- They tolerate verbal, mental, or physical abuse.
- They allow other’s opinions to control their emotions.
- Stop following their moral compass to appease another.
- Allow critical self-talk.
- They seek attention using unethical behavior.
- Lose themselves in relationships with others.
- Refuse to take care of their health or appearance.
When we respect ourselves, we make boundaries that align with our core values and refuse to allow others to dis-respect those boundaries.
Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power.” – Clint Eastwood
Setting healthy boundaries is an integral part of self-respect and something you should take time to investigate and put into practice. Even setting one healthy limit for yourself is an act of practicing self-love.
This week’s mindfulness challenges is to respect your boundaries.
I have created a worksheet for you to print here.
Take a moment and think about your core values. What value do you feel describes you as a person the most? Write down your top core value.
Ask yourself why this value is so meaningful to you, then write down the reasons why this virtue holds for you. What behaviors do you display when you don’t practice this value yourself?
Now, think about others. How many times have you let others cross these values? What feelings arose when they didn’t regard what mattered to you?
Create a boundary that aligns with your core value and write in on your boundary board. Make a promise to yourself that you will not allow others to cross this boundary again.
Here is an example: Let’s say your most significant core value is reliability. Growing up, your parents were reliable, and therefore you became a dependable person because of this. Consequently, you want people in your life that are reliable as well. If you allow someone in your life that is consistently unreliable and some point, they will let you down. Each time they demonstrate their unreliability, and you allow it, you’ve allowed them to cross your boundaries. However, if you set a boundary that says, “I am committed to reliability. I will not allow those who are not reliable into my inner circle.” It is in this way we learn that it’s ok for someone to be unreliable if that’s what they choose, but they can’t be in your inner circle if they are.
We learn self-respect, by acknowledging our core values and setting healthy boundaries. When we teach others how to treat us, we create an environment of self-love.
I respect myself and insist upon it from everybody. And because I do it, I then respect everybody, too.” – Maya Angelou
Want to start with your first mindfulness challenges on self-love? Check out these articles:
Mindfulness Challenge, Be Kind To Yourself
Mindfulness Challenge, Learn to Love Yourself
If you or someone you know would benefit from these mindfulness challenges, please sign up for our mailing list here. I would love for you to be a part of our mindful tribe.
Peace & Love,
Ela
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