No matter what age you are at some point in your life, you’ve had bad things happen. A job you lost, a relationship you didn’t want to end, an illness, and many other adverse events. These things can happen at any time. However, how do you accept these things when they happen to you?
Accepting things as they are seems easy enough. Despite this, most people do not handle life as easily as others. For some, changes can cause depression, anxiety, stress, or the feeling of hopelessness, while some may seek revenge on others.
I’ve witnessed people who become so jealous and filled with hate that they try to ruin someone else’s life. They justify their actions with “this is how I deal with these things” as if trying to hurt others will make them feel better. The only thing they accomplish is creating more unhappiness in their own life.
When we accept things as they are, we can move forward in life.
Our actions, good or bad, create the life we have. Learning to accept what is, doesn’t mean you are happy all the time. It’s about learning to be less reactive when bad things do happen.
For instance, let’s say your partner, who you are in love with, comes to you and says they want to end the relationship. It is a painful thing to hear. Instead of accepting this as your reality, you become depressed. You refuse to get out of bed for months. Each time someone asks you how you’re doing, you may answer with something like, “I don’t know how things like this happen to such good people.” You blame the other person for everything wrong in your life.
Possibly, you made the other person uncomfortable for a bit. However, they probably feel even better about their decision to end the relationship with you. For yourself, months have become years, and there you are stuck in a world of unhappiness.
Instead, let’s say you are a person who practices acceptance. You would acknowledge your feelings and understand that this is hurtful. “This hurts me, but there are so many other people that have it worse.”, might be something you’d say. However, you are a person who takes responsibility for everything that happens in your life. You start to self-reflect on what the lesson is — taking the necessary steps to look at what you can control and do better. You realize the only thing you can fix about the situation is yourself. The result is that your life moves forward and often in better, more rewarding ways.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
This week’s mindfulness challenge is about learning to accept what is. I’ve created a worksheet for you to use that you can print here.
Sit in a quiet spot.
Think of an event or negative emotion that has happened or currently going on in your life.
What emotions arise when you think about this situation? Write down any key emotions that come to mind.
Write down everything that you can control in this situation. Recognize that maybe the only thing in your control is your attitude towards it. If the event is coming or happening now, what measures can you take to make the situation better?
Often, we give others better advice than we give ourselves. Think about if this event was happening to someone else. If I was advising a friend who was going through the same thing, what wisdom would I share?
Life is all about change. Nothing is permanent. Things come in and out of our lives to teach us lessons and to help us on our journey. When we accept that, we can move forward. Ask yourself, what does my life look like if I accept what is?
List out any steps or goals you need to work on to move forward.
Finally, repeating affirmations can help us become more proactive. When we notice our thoughts are shifting towards negative emotions, repeat words of encouragement. You can choose your own or use some of these:
This year we are focusing on balance in our life and how mindfulness can help us achieve that. This challenge focuses on our inner well being. Other challenges in this series include:
1st Week: Mindfulness Challenge, Create a Balanced Life
2nd Week: Mindfulness Challenge, Wipe Out the ANTS;
3rd Week: Mindfulness Challenge, Are Your Thoughts True?
If you or someone you know would benefit from these mindfulness challenges, please sign up for our mailing list here. I would love for you to be a part of our mindful tribe.
Other articles you may have missed this past week:
10 Ideas for Practicing Self-Love on Valentine’s Day
Mindful Gift Ideas For Valentine’s Day
Peace & Love,
Ela
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