In my previous article, Why We Believe Lies: Opinion Versus Truth, we touched on why using only our emotions to make decisions can lead us on a path of false ideas. In this article, we are going to learn how to use our wise minds to make the best decisions for ourselves.
We often get confused by what is real and what is an opinion in our daily lives.
There are three states of mind that we all possess.
The Emotional Mind: This a person that allows their feelings to control their decisions. They accept beliefs as facts. These individuals are easily manipulated because their emotions convince them to accept lies over the truth. You will notice they are quick to get upset or mad when challenged.
The Reasonable Mind: This person bases all their decisions based on facts. They are rational and, therefore, not easy to upset. These individuals will state their opinion and debate it if they need to. They are often uncompromising and will stay clear of those who think differently than they do. They do not allow their emotions in their decision making.
The Wise Mind: This person has a balance between being reasonable and emotional. They are rational but respect their feelings, act more mature than others and tend to have an open mind. Often, they accept all ideas and opinions. From this, they form facts and experience their truth.
A person who uses a wise mind can maintain peace when confronted. They’re not one to jump to the wrong conclusion. You won’t find that they are easy to confuse either, because they can find clarity in every situation. They live their life mindfully.
We all possess characteristics from each one of these states of mind. However, most of us fall into either the emotional or reasonable mind more than the others. When this happens, our mind becomes our enemy.
When I first started this process in my learning, I realized that I fit into the reasonable mind category. I don’t force my opinions on anyone, and therefore I don’t like others forcing theirs onto me. I’m a seeker of facts before I make decisions. Emotional people and those with no common sense make me very uncomfortable to be around. However, I’m about as laid back as they come, and I have always had a very open mind.
In my love life, I am the exact opposite. I start each relationship using my emotional mind. Red flags can be popping up everywhere, but I would ignore them. After a while, my reasonable mind would take over, and I would see them precisely as they are. A person that was not right for me, and I would end the relationship.
How do you get a wise mind? Well, before I became a mindfulness practitioner, I enlisted another mindfulness practitioner to help me. My first exercise was to learn to be observant of when I make decisions and to recognize which state of mind I’m using.
Over time and through all my mindfulness training, I have learned other techniques that have helped me become a person who uses my wise mind. Here are some tips to get you started:
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- Pause. Before you respond to any situation, learn to pause. Pausing allows you to evaluate what you are about to do or say.
- Ask yourself questions. Is what I am about to say necessary? Do I know that it is 100% the truth? Is this my opinion, or is this fact? How does it make me feel to say it?
- Check-in with your three brains. The head, the heart, and the gut. Many of us have lost touch with our gut instincts, including me. Reasonable people use their heads, and emotional people use their hearts. The best practice is to use all three. The more you listen to these three areas in your body, the more they will assist you in making the right decisions when a situation occurs. During your pause. Check-in with your gut, heart, and head.
- Seek the truth. Don’t accept what anyone says as fact. Not politicians, movie stars, preachers, even me. Almost everything anyone says is their opinion. For instance, when we walk outside, we know the sun is in the sky. That is the truth. However, if someone tells you that only married people can have children, that is a lie. Single people have children all the time. This is only their opinion. Let go of beliefs and practice only seeking the truth.
- Speak the truth. Another person can take everything you say as the truth. Unless you know what you are saying is the fact, let that person know that it is only your opinion. Even better, don’t say it at all.
- Listen. Your best teachers will be those around you. Everyone has their opinion, and we all love to speak it. However, if you listen, you can be aware of how their words make you feel. Do their opinions seem real for you?
When we do these steps, we can learn to use our wise mind and prosper from the benefits. I also encourage you to take the steps to self-reflect and come up with your ideas about how to use your wise mind. If you come up with others, please feel free to share them here.
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