Losing our parents is a painful part of life. Whether you have already suffered this lost or not, learning that they are always with us can help us get through this difficult time.
It has been five years since my father has passed away. I do my best to live mindfully in the present moment and not get stuck in the past. However, as the anniversary of my father’s death approached, I had an overwhelming feeling that because of this, I was starting to forget him.
I had to sit and concentrate on how he sounded, what he looked like, his expression when we would be joking around, how safe I always felt around him. I was having a hard time with it. At the same time, I started to listen to a book written by Thich Nhat Hahn called the Art of Living. I had read his words before about losing a parent — however, the reminder was precisely what I needed.
Remembering my father doesn’t require me to live in the past. I am my father.
He will always be with me because I am a continuation of him — his energy lives within me, my sister, my brother, and all our children. When my grandchildren are born, I will even see my father in them.
Even if you do not have a good relationship with your parents, they are still a part of you. It’s our job to let them live by looking for the best things about them and sharing them with all we know.
Your mindfulness challenge for this week is to remind yourself that you are your parents.
Take a moment to sit quietly and reflect on each one of your parents. Whether you have a good relationship with them or not, it doesn’t matter.
Start with your mother.
Write down five positive traits you see in your mother: things you admire about her.
Now write down five negative traits you see in your mother.
Repeat these steps with your father.
Write down five positive traits and five negative traits that you see in him.
As you review the list of both your parents take note of the negative things.
Do you see any of these in yourself? If you answered yes, are they still there within you, or have you changed these things about yourself?
If you do notice a negative trait in your one of your parents that you feel continues to exist in you, it’s essential to recognize this. Once you understand these traits is when you can do something to correct them.
Now, go over the five positive traits you see in each of your parents. These are the ten things you are going to carry with you. Something you are going to do in your own life to keep their energy alive. Be grateful and give thanks to your parents for having these positive traits for you to share with others.
I encourage you to carry them with you in your purse or wallet as a reminder that we are our parents. They continue through us. Their positive traits can impact the future if we continuously practice them. Through us, they will always live.
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