Hopefully, before you read this, you’ve already taken the Mindfulness Challenge, The Positive-Negative Experiment. If you haven’t, I suggest you take that challenge first, so you don’t know how the experiment turns outs.
My guy is always telling me that I’m the most positive person he knows. I still laugh about this, because we hang around other positive people. He is positive himself. He always says good things about people and wants the best for everyone. It wasn’t until a few days ago when I lured him into this experiment that I would understand what he means when he tells me this.
The experiment was about how our emotions control our thoughts. People use this excuse to justify their actions in situations where they let themselves get out of control. Guess what? It’s not true. We choose our thoughts, and our thoughts control our emotions.
The first part of this experience was to sit down and concentrate on a negative situation. You were supposed to think of something going on in your life that was negative and notice how it made you feel.
First, I went. I could not come up with a negative situation. It took a few minutes for me to pick something, and even when I did, I wasn’t sure I was fully committed to that thought.
The next part of the experiment was to notice how this negative thought felt and the feelings that I gave to it. I was supposed to list out in my head all the emotions that surrounded this negative thought. What I noticed is that I couldn’t let negative thinking come into my head. I couldn’t think of harmful emotions. I kept trying, and no bad feelings came to me.
Each time I thought one was about to surface, there were my thoughts telling myself, “it’s going to be alright,” “you’re doing your best,” “you got this girl.” I was rooting myself on in my head. I was positive to every negative thought I could muster up. If I were in school, I would have flunked this experiment.
The next part of the experiment was to put yourself in a favorable situation.
What a pleasurable experience that was for me. I was blissfully enjoying a lovely cocktail while sitting on a beach. Dolphins were playing in the ocean just for me, while my man read me a book and massaged my feet. Each person that walked by was so happy and kind to me. Some even brought me delicious foods. The sun was shining, and a light breeze cooled my skin. Now that is a positive thought!
When we finished, we shared our experiences.
The first thing I learned was that we both had the same experiment, but completely different experiences from it. Think about that. You can go to the movies with ten of your friends. You can all see the same film. When you leave, will all ten of you feel the same way about the movie? No. More than likely, there will be ten different thoughts about the film. Some will be positive, and some will be negative.
You are the only one who gets to choose your thoughts. Whether you want to think positive or negative is entirely up to you.
The second thing I learned from this experiment is that my boyfriend is right. I’m always looking at the bright side of things. I’ve done this for so long that I’ve trained my brain to be this way. Does this mean I’ve had the most remarkable life, and nothing wrong ever happens to me? Absolutely not.
I’ve had people tell me they wish they had my life. If they knew the things that have happened to me in my life, they wouldn’t say that. What they see is that I’m always positive; therefore, they think that I must have this amazing life. The truth is my life is no different than anyone else’s life; what is different is how I react to things that happen, good or bad.
We all have bad things happen to us, and it’s ok to fall apart now and then. What is not ok is to stay stuck in that for long.
It all starts with you. You are the artist of your life. How do you plan on painting it?
Hopefully, you took the challenge yourself before reading this, but on the chance you didn’t, you can take this experiment yourself at this week’s Mindfulness Challenge, The Positive-Negative Experiment.
If you would like to find more balance and peace in your life, why not sign up for my weekly mindfulness challenges? You can add your name to my list here.
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