One of the best lessons I ever learned in life came to me when I was in my twenties. My company sent me to a week’s training in The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People. During this, I learned about a concept called The Circle of Concern. In mindfulness teachings, we call it the Locus of Control.
The Principle of “Locus of Control” came from Julian Rotter. Julian’s concept of this theory is that each of us believes that either we control our lives internally or that external forces control our lives.
Internal Focus.
Those with internal focus believe that they are in control of their lives. They acknowledge that it is their choices that lead to their success or failure, their happiness or suffering, etc. Each event in their life comes from the decision they have made. For example: If a person who has internal focus fails to get a promotion at work, they will look at themselves and see the areas they need to work on to get the promotion next time.
External Focus.
Those with external focus believe that they have no control over the events in their life. They think that other people’s choices have control over them, and they can’t do anything about it. The only perspective they see is that everything is happening around them, and they have to accept it no matter what. As in the example above, a person who has external focus will not look at themselves but instead blames the person hiring or other factors as to the reason they did not get the promotion.
Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging, and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase. Reactive people, on the other hand, focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern. They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization. The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.” ― Stephen R. Covey
The other day I was at work when a co-worker came up to me. She asked me if I’d been watching the news and wanted to know everything I’d heard about what was happening in our world right now. I responded that I don’t watch the news. She wanted to know why, and I explained to her that there is nothing in my control on the news, so subjecting myself to that would not be healthy. She looked at me like I was alien and went back to work.
Throughout the entire day, I noticed her demeanor; she was deeply upset to the point that she appeared depressed. Yet, she kept checking the news and wanting to discuss what she was reading. She was focusing entirely on what was happening in the world and causing herself a ton of suffering.
I agree that we all need to stay aware of what is happening and take the advice given to us. However, the more we worry and stress about what is not in our control, the worst our health will be. When we take ownership of our lives and what we can control, we are can better handle whatever comes our way.
The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves, inside our circle of influence, our own character. – Stephen Covey
This week’s mindfulness challenge is to focus on your locus.
I have created a two-page worksheet for you to use here.
Take a moment and reflect on the concept of locus theory. Do you naturally relate to internal or external control in your life?
What situations do you feel are controlling your thoughts or emotions right now? Currently, most of us would say the uncertainty this pandemic is having in our lives. Some of us are losing our jobs, missing time with friends and family, and getting sick, all of which can be very upsetting, even devastating.
Take some time and write down all the things you can’t control in the outer circle of your worksheet. Now, in the internal circle, write what is in your control. Place this reminder, where you can see it often. Here is an example of mine:
In what ways can you change those situations that are controlling you? Right now, the circumstance is that we have a global pandemic. That is a fact. In what ways are we in control of that? Some ways we can be in control is to choose whether we go out in public, how often we wash our hands, our stress levels, and our mental state. The kindness we’ve shown to others by only taking what we need. What other ways can you find to stay in control?
The truth is, we are only in control of our attitude, our responses, and the choices we make, nothing else. Blaming the world, politicians, or other entities will not change the fact that this is what we are facing. The only way to make your life better is to change yourself. If you can stay home, why not take this time to work on what is in your control.
You can apply this concept to all areas of your life at any time in your life, including relationships, career, financial situations, etc.
Other Articles you may have missed this past week:
Supplements To Boost Your Immune System
Mindfulness Challenge, Stay Calm In The Storm
Until we get through this trying time, I will continue to share challenges to help us in this situation. We will get back to balancing out our lives, once this storm passes. Until then, please share these challenges with others to help them. If you’d like to sign up for our weekly mindfulness challenge, please do so here. I would love for you to be a part of our mindful tribe!
I wish you all health and happiness.
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