We all have a best friend, someone you share your thoughts and dreams with. The first person you call when anything happens to you good or bad. Some of us are lucky to have that same friend for most of our life. Others are not so lucky.
Those who claim to be your friend can also have underlying hate towards you. They may want what you have and do things to get it. Make sure you know the signs and what to look for in case this happens to you.
They are Overly Friendly with Your Significant Other
You are probably thinking this is a no brainer and for most it is. Believe it or not, some of us don’t see your best girl or best guy as a threat…until they are. If they spend more time chatting up your significant other than they do you, you might be concerned. Watch for any signs where they may be staring at each other or touching inappropriately. Whatever you do never assume that it’s all innocent.
They Don’t Clap When You Win
A best friend doesn’t care if you succeed. They know they can get whatever they want too, so watching you succeed should make them happy and supportive. If they aren’t clapping when you get a promotion, a new love, or if you’re just winning at life, you might want to get a new friend who does.
They Say, “I Wish I Had Your Life”
Oprah said it best “You can’t be friends with someone who wants your life”. I had a friend that re-appeared in my life after many years. On several occasions, they told me this. They had a deep-seated hatred for me, that I had no idea of until it was too late. Trust me, if you have someone telling you this, keeping asking questions by what they mean. It may be innocent, but it may not. Listen to your gut and if something feels off, you may want to start weaning yourself off this relationship. The best way to do this is to become very busy in your own life and they may not even notice you’ve left theirs.
They Talk Negatively About Others to You
Trust me if they are talking about others to you in a jealous or another negative way, they are talking about you to others as well. If you are into bashing other people, then I guess carry on. However, I’ve never seen anyone succeed at life who wastes time bashing others. Your friends should always stand up for you. If they have a problem with you, they should come directly to you and no one else.
They Imitate You
Remember the friend I mentioned above? If you look at a picture of her when she first came back into my life versus a few years later, the transformation is insane. I never noticed it until someone asked me why she suddenly looked like a blonde version of me. Most people that hang out together tend to have the same style or try new things that their friends are doing and that is ok! If they are doing everything to look like you that’s not alright. While it’s possible this could be nothing more than a form of flattery, it’s something you should take notice of. Always encourage your friends to be who they are.
They Make You Feel Guilty for Having Other Friends
If your friend acts jealous or makes you feel bad when you spend time with other friends, don’t ignore this. It’s something they are feeling inside that needs addressed and has nothing actually to do with you. It’s best to get a clear picture of why they feel this way and then address it as needed. Confident
If your friend is doing one of these things, probably not cause for alarm. However, if they are doing several of these things, then you truly need to take a long hard look at your friendship. It is always best to understand where someone is coming from. Communicate with them and get to any issues that you can possibly help them with. It might be that the two of you are not understanding where each other is coming from. Let them know any boundaries they are crossing. If that doesn’t help, it’s ok to let go of that relationship.
Always remember, you may have nothing but love for someone, but that doesn’t mean they feel the same about you. The people you hang around should always have your back, be supportive and talk about you in the highest regard.
Peace & Love, Ela
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