I know what you are thinking; there is no way in hell you are going to wish your enemies well. I understand that! Hopefully, after you read this article, you will change your mind.
When people hurt us, we often tend to hold a grudge towards these individuals.
For myself, I’ve let people do some pretty awful things to me, who I have continued to be kind too. It isn’t until I’ve left the situation, healed, and then reflected that I even get upset. It’s then I start to hold a grudge towards them.
It’s always been this way for me. I’ve forever had this false belief that I have to be the strong one, while everyone else gets to act like an emotional wreck. My idea was that if I maintain being friendly and acting rational, then others will see this and be that way too. However, I can safely say that has never happened one time.
After I started looking deep inside myself, I discovered that I’m not mad at them at all. I’m angry at myself. I chose to let others treat me this way. I didn’t set healthy boundaries or teach others how to treat me. It was my false belief that being a nice person would make others want to be kind to me.
Once I learned it was me, not them that was causing me to have negative emotions, I started wishing them well.
Anything we send out comes back to us. The only person you can ever be responsible for is yourself. So when you send out happiness, you get happiness back. Maybe not from your enemies, but from others that matter more. Plus, sending out well wishes to those who have hurt us, helps you heal.
Holding on to resentment is like taking poison and waiting for your enemies to die.” – Jen Sincero
This week’s mindfulness challenge is to wish your enemies well.
Sit quietly and think about someone who you makes you feel upset.
Take a moment to look inside yourself to see why you feel this way towards this person.
Our enemies are our best teachers. When someone else’s actions can cause negative emotions in us, it’s a good sign that we need to fix something inside ourselves. Explore why this person continues to upset or anger you. Write down anything you are feeling.
Take a few deep breaths and let them out.
When your mind is clear, bring to mind the person again.
Take a deep breath and hold for a few seconds. When you release your breath, say, “I wish (insert their name) happiness.”
Repeat this until you feel lighter and less angry.
You should practice wishing your enemies well each day until that anger is gone.
You don’t have to do this entire process each day. When you feel them come into your thoughts, a simple wish of happiness will suffice. Then gently direct your thoughts to something more productive.
Before you know it, you will feel lighter and less anger towards this person.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” ― Oscar Wilde
Next week, we will start balancing out our careers and education. If you enjoy these challenges, sign up for our weekly mindfulness challenge here. I would love for you to be a part of my mindful tribe.
Peace & Love, Ela
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