If you’ve ever struggled with the idea of loving yourself, now is the time to let those false beliefs go and begin to love who you are. I believe self-love is so important. Imagine if we lived in a world where everyone loved themselves so fiercely, that love poured out of them and they had no time to hurt others?
What is self-love? According to the dictionary, self-love is showing regard for one’s well-being and happiness.
For many of us, practicing self-love can be hard. Have you ever stood up for yourself only to be called names or told you were selfish? That’s a result of a person who benefits from another that does not love themselves. Over time this behavior teaches us that we are not necessary. So before we start to practice what self-love is, let’s remind ourselves what it isn’t.
Self-Love is not selfish. Putting your core values and becoming aware of your needs does not make you selfish. It’s the opposite. For us to properly care for others, we need to be at our best. You can’t give to others what you don’t have in yourself. Learning to love yourself and each part of who you are should always be a top priority.
The Eight Elements of Self-Love
There are eight elements of practicing self-love that you need to master. The first is self-awareness. One of the best things I ever did for myself was to start becoming self-aware. I am a happy and positive person, which makes me a target for those with negative and unhappy personalities. For years, I would try to make others happy while slowly allowing them to deplete my energy. This behavior continued until I had nothing more to give. Had I practiced self-awareness, I would have recognized this as it happened and set appropriate boundaries.
Awareness.
Practicing self-awareness means you start to recognize how you influence others and how they influence you. The result is that you become more accountable for your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Appreciation.
When you practice awareness, you can then start learning to appreciate the parts of you that are unique. Love yourself for rare qualities that you possess that no one else does.
Kindness.
If we want to spread kindness to others, we must first practice being kind to ourselves.
Respect.
Growing up, the biggest lesson I learned was to respect others. Giving respect was ingrained in my head for as long as I remember. However, respect should also be practiced for ourselves, something I failed many times over the years. When we regard ourselves, we feel empowered and are willing to stand up for ourselves. We stay true to our core values.
Self-Care.
Last Fall, we spent several weeks practicing self-care. Here are a few of those challenges: Mindfulness Challenge, Take Care of Your Self and Mindfulness Challenge, Take Care of Your Self Part 2. Simply put, self-care is about giving time to yourself to take care of your wellness. Practicing self-care each day is essential to your mind, body, and spirit.
Growth.
Growth is about continuing the process of becoming our authentic selves. It allows us to learn and make ourselves better.
Explore.
In the same way that growth is about continually learning and growing, exploration is about looking inward. In whatever situation we find ourselves; if we are practicing exploring our inner self, we can improve and learn who we are.
Confidence.
When we bring all of these components together, we create trust in ourselves. Confidence means we view ourselves as a whole and are sure of exactly who we are. We’ve grown, repaired, and learned to love ourselves.
I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” – Brene Brown
This week’s mindfulness challenge is to learn to love yourself.
I have created a worksheet for you to use and print out here. Additionally, you can do this challenge on blank paper, your journal, or even just sitting and talk yourself through each step.
Awareness.
Start with the very first element of self-love, awareness. Write down your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that you are experiencing right at this moment. Remember, in the challenge, Are You Aware of Your Behavior, we learned that our thoughts control our feelings and our feelings control our behaviors. Becoming self-aware of what ideas you have is the very first step in practicing self-love and the most important. So, check-in with your thoughts often and notice what feelings and behaviors result.
Appreciation.
What do you appreciate about yourself? There is always something we can admire about ourselves. If you can’t think of anything, then write down what you want to appreciate about yourself moving forward.
Kindness.
In what ways can you start being kinder to yourself? Write down the steps you already take or want to take to be more helpful to yourself. Spend each day doing things to be kind to yourself.
Respect.
What does this word mean to you? Think about your core values, what ways can you stay true to them without being disrespectful to others? In what ways can you learn to respect yourself more?
Self-Care.
Write down everything you love to do. Self-care can be anything that makes your mind, body, and spirit feel happy and whole; what things bring you absolute joy and happiness? Write down a promise to yourself that each day you will practice self-care. The more you start taking a moment to yourself each day, the more you will begin to feel love for yourself.
Exploration.
Take some time to look inward and explore yourself. What makes you the person you are? Get as honest and real with yourself as you ever have. No excuses. Stop blaming others and become accountable for your actions. Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Ask yourself what your core values are and write them down.
Growth.
Look back five years, ten years, or even twenty years. In what ways have you grown as a person. Have these changes been positive or negative? What changes do you want to make moving forward that will support the goal of loving yourself? Vision your life as you want it to be and write it down.
Confidence.
There is nothing here to write about because once you conquer the first seven elements, this will come naturally. You will know you’ve learned to love yourself properly when you walk with your head held high and treating yourself well is your priority.
To drive the importance of self-love home one more time, I am going to repeat a sentence I stated earlier: You cannot give to others what you do not have in yourself. To properly love another, you must first love yourself.
Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” – Byron Katie
If you or someone you know would benefit from these mindfulness challenges, please sign up for our mailing list here. I would love for you to be a part of our mindful tribe.
Peace & Love, Ela
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