This is my story of discrimination and becoming an empowered woman.
I was somewhat inexperienced about how women are treated in the workforce. That was until around age 30 I was having a casual conversation with a male colleague on break one day. He had been recently hired to do the exact same thing I had been doing for several years. He was about the same age as me, so it wasn’t as if he’d had more experience than myself.
During our conversation, he blurts out how he wasn’t very happy with his salary that he’d been given and felt he was worth more. He proceeds to tell me what that salary was and to my own shock, it was about $12,000 more than mine.
It was a devastating blow to my ego. I loved the company I worked for and although I felt very betrayed, I kept it to myself out of fear. A fear I would lose my job if I said something, fear that I had always been an employee they could count on and if I complained I would look like a trouble maker instead of the hard worker and devoted employee that I was. I said nothing.
That was almost 20 years ago.
More recently, and keep in mind as I’m writing this, I’m 48 years old. I’ve been out of the business world for some time running my own businesses. I had gotten divorced and felt I needed to take a job where I had a steadier income. I started in a position that was more of a support position but was quickly promoted within the first six months.
Once again, I was offered the position at a lesser rate than what the male counterpart (It was my job to know what everyone in my department was paid). I explained that I would need to be paid the same as the last manager. In return, they informed me that I would have to accomplish a few things before I was given the same salary as him. Because I was a woman, I had to prove myself. The two previous managers were men. One never worked in this field and he was paid much more than what I was asking for. Needless to say, this put a sour taste in my mouth towards this company.
A year later, I received a job offer to go work at a larger corporation. Which I felt would fit me better, they offered benefits that at my age I was going to need.
During my interview, I was again told that I would have to start at the bottom as a sales representative. I was told that everyone was hired at that level. I’ve never sold anything, but this was the position they wanted me for? I’m always up for a challenge and I like to broaden my areas of knowledge. So, I accepted. Thinking, ever so naively, that I will not be in this position long before I shoot up the ladder of success.
I am introduced to my district manager and was shocked to learn that said manager was hired directly into the company as a manager and had never been in this field before. Really? And I just left a manager’s position, took a pay cut to start at the bottom once again?
Then I got to my very first training, where I am again greeted by a brand-new district manager, some young guy that looks like he just left a college fraternity. Guess what? He had never worked in this field or for this company before but was hired to be a district manager. At this point, I’m growing concerned about my decision making. However, I kept preserving thinking it’s all going to be alright. I will have the position I’m after in no time.
As I am sitting in my training on day 4, my trainer sits next to me and starts talking to another sales representative that is also in training and had just started with the company about the same time as I did. What I hear is the trainer asking the NEW sales rep if he would be interested in a manager position.
This is the moment, pardon my French, where I say to myself “what the fuck have I done”. First, it’s not professional to discuss this in front of other employees. The fact that it was so blatantly done caused some major red flags for me.
A few months later, I am settling into my position as a sales rep and let’s just say I am not killing it by no means. I am realizing that this line of work is probably not for me. I’ve always been a manager. I run things, I start things, I create, I organize, I schedule, and I do it efficiently. Selling is not what I do. However, my regional manager disagrees and thinks I have it in me, so they send me to my second training.
This time it’s Day 3. I am sitting next to a sales rep that started a few months before I did. Here comes the trainer. I’m seriously thinking, “you’ve got to be shitting me”. He sits down next to him and again I am listening to the words “Would you be interested in becoming a manager?”. Not one time had anyone from this company come to me and ask if I would like to be a manager or what any of my goals were with this company. I was done.
As I’m sitting in the airport for six hours waiting for my flight home I come up with a plan.
I know what I am worth, so I write down all the things I’m good at. Then I write down all the things I want to get good at. (Ironically, selling isn’t in either one of these lists) Then I start writing down my plans to achieve what I want to do. And guess what? This blog was one of them. Along with other things that I am currently working in the direction towards.
So how do we become empowered women?
Know your worth and demand it. One thing I have learned over the years. There is no company that is going to put you first. If they can get you for cheap, they will do it. The only difference between me and the first guy was I’m certain he demanded his salary. I never knew that I could negotiate a salary until I did it for the first time. You can and you should!
If you feel like you are being overlooked because you are a woman, you probably are. You really have two choices here. First, you can take on the challenge of changing the company dynamic. Be audacious enough to demand your worth and don’t ever settle for less. Second, ask if this is truly something you love doing. If it’s not, find what sets your soul on fire and do that.
Get yourself a Life Coach or Mentor. Nothing will be more helpful than to find a woman who is there to empower you and keep you moving forward. Find someone, who like me, has already dealt with these situations and can offer advice to help you.
Surround yourself with like-minded women, who will encourage and support you. Facebook has several empowered women pages you can join.
If you start with these steps, there is no telling what you can accomplish. Maybe even one day when enough women are empowered, we will no longer have to “Protest this Fucking Shit”.
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