Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be your hero? To be the master of your own life without wavering from the opinions and judgments of others? Have you always wanted to learn to be your true self and to live life on your terms?
Think back over your life. Was there ever a time that you decided something for yourself? You were drawn to it because it felt right.
My guess is, you were probably so excited that you wanted to share your plan with family and friends. Then here they came, opinions, judgments, and negative comments that completely derailed you and made you scared to move forward with your plan.
It is a familiar cycle for many of us, but it doesn’t have to be.
While taking one of my coaching classes, my instructor started talking about when she wanted to move to another state by herself. When she told her family and friends, she received no support and negative comments. You’ll be too far from family, you’ll get murdered, the weather there is awful, etc. However, at a young age, she did it anyway. Twenty years later, she is still living in that state. It was there she found her soul mate and chosen career path. All because she was her own hero.
For myself, the worse decisions of my life came from listening to others. I felt obligated to listen to their opinions and judgments, even as my gut was telling me not to. I did what I thought I was supposed to do to make everyone else happy.
Most of my life, it was this way. It was in my forties that I decided to become my own hero. That’s when everything changed, and now my life is exactly how I always wanted it to be.
How do you become your own hero? Here are the tips I learned from trial and error that finally led me to a rewarding, authentic life:
1. You know yourself best.
Who is the one person you are with every moment from the day you are born until the day you die? Yourself. Nobody knows you better than you do. Not your parents, your spouse, your best friend, and not even the lady who does your hair that you tell your life story too.
If you are always letting other’s opinions direct you on your life path, then you are not living your true self.
You must be you, so be a seeker of your truth.
2. Get out of your comfort zone.
Want to know a secret about me? I hate being the center of attention. I’ve always been a private person, and that is where I’m comfortable. In my perfect world, I’m a hermit living in the mountains. Also, I live close to the ocean, and animals and nature surround me. The only people I come in contact with love me unconditionally, they are positive and only visit me on a schedule that I approve. Ok, maybe not that extreme, but close.
Yet, my passion for having my own business and helping others is far greater than being a hermit. And guess what all those damn marketing coaches agree on? To have a successful business, you have to put yourself out there. I tried it my way first only to discover that they were right. I wasn’t getting many followers for my blog for months. Then one day, I took down the lotus picture and put ones up of myself and guess what happened? I started getting more followers immediately. Even in the era of technology, people still relate better to others when they feel a connection with that person. Not a graphic, but a real live person. I continue to work on getting out of my comfort zone daily.
Becoming who we are meant to be, requires us to do some scary shit. However, when you are about to take a risk, and you feel like you are going to throw up, that’s a good thing. It means you are growing as a person!
3. Recognize why others are negative toward your plans.
Have you ever thought about why people try to keep you from doing something? It could be they believe they are protecting you from the unknown. Perhaps once they did something scary, and it didn’t work, and in their mind, they are helping you from the same outcome. But they are not you!
It could also be they don’t have the tenacity and determination to get out of their comfort zone. If you succeed, it makes others look like a failure. These people will guilt, tempt, and make fun of you. They will give you numerous reasons why you shouldn’t do what’s best for you. Recognize these people and let whatever they say go in one ear and out the other.
4. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals.
I’ve said it many times, who you surround yourself with influences who you are. Limit the time you spend with opinionated negative people. Cut toxic people out of your life.
Spend more time with those who are supportive, the cheerleaders in your life. These people are living their real lives and want you to live yours. You feel great when you are around them because they are always looking at the bright side of things.
5. Keep your plans to yourself.
When we tell others, our plans be ready to hear negative comments. You will never escape it because there is always someone happy to give their opinion. They will provide you with all the reasons why “they” think it’s not a good idea. You will hear things that are entirely not even true in an attempt to scare you.
Unless you know without a doubt, this person is always supportive of you, keep your plans to yourself.
Personally, experience has taught me to keep my next move to myself until I’ve made whatever life changes I need. Not to mention the shock value of “You did what?” is very entertaining.
6. So what?
Let’s say you make a choice, and it turns out to be the wrong one. You failed, so what? Everyone fails at some point in their life. Hopefully, you learned from it, adjust your plans, and are ready to try again.
Would you rather fail at your own decisions, learn, and keep growing until you one day succeed? Or would you rather listen to others and fail while being stuck in the life they designed for you?
I hope you choose to be your own hero.
If you haven’t already, I would love for you to join my weekly mindfulness challenge. If you want to get mindful each week, enter here.
Peace & Love,
Ela
Leave a Reply
Your email is safe with us.