Last week our challenge was: Love Your Partner Unconditionally. Even though our goal should be to love others unconditionally, sometimes that seems impossible when dealing with toxic relationships. That is why this week, we are going to learn to identify those relationships and understand them.
Some people believe that a toxic relationship means another person is physically abusing them. While physical abuse is very harmful, it isn’t the only type of toxic relationship. Any connection that consistently disrupts your life and makes you feel unbalanced can be considered toxic.
These relationships come in all shapes and sizes and include your parents, other family members, spouses, co-workers, and even your friends. Hopefully, with this challenge, we will better identify those individuals.
Before we do that, please note that sometimes we are the toxic ones, and don’t realize it. That is why this year of balancing out our lives, we started with learning about ourselves. If you have not taken those challenges (start with the first, Mindfulness Challenge, Create a Balanced Life) I encourage you to do so before you take this challenge. You certainly don’t want to label someone else as toxic in your life, if you haven’t taken responsibility for your behaviors.
Don’t confuse “familiar” with “acceptable”. Toxic relationships can fool you like that. ―
Your mindfulness challenge for this week is to identify toxic relationships.
The best way to know for sure if you are in a toxic relationship is to identify what feels toxic for you.
On your, Identify Toxic Relationships Worksheet write down any behaviors that are upsetting to you and go against your core values. For instance, if I were to write down actions that bother me, it would be something like negativity, drama, manipulative, physical abuse, dis-loyalty, and judging.
If you need ideas, I have created a list of common toxic behaviors that you can print here. Only use these as guidelines. Some of these behaviors might not feel toxic to you, while others that do may not be listed.
Next, identify those people who consistently make you feel bad after being around them.
Write down these individual’s behaviors that you see. Do any of their actions match those that feel toxic to you?
If the answer is yes, highlight or circle those individuals’ names.
Rate your relationship on a scale of one to ten. One being that occasionally this person feels toxic, to ten, it is consistently a toxic relationship.
Any relationship that you scored over five needs immediate attention.
Why do you hang on to this relationship? What beliefs or ideas make you feel that you need to continue this relationship in your life? Are there any steps you can take to distance yourself from this relationship?
Sometimes we have to say GOODBYE to the ones who mean the most to us. Because usually, they are the ones who are slowly killing us inside. – Unknown
Finally, can you seek to understand why this person is toxic with you? Have you had conversations with this person and let them know how you feel?
If you want a balanced life and have been unable to make a toxic relationship better, is it possible to let go or limit the amount of time you give to this relationship?
Love shouldn’t hurt, and it should never cost you your peace and happiness!
If you or someone you know would benefit from weekly mindfulness challenges, please sign up for our mailing list here. I would love for you to be a part of our mindful tribe.
Other articles you may have missed this past week:
21 Days of Love Photograph Challenge
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